New post soon.

As soon as I feel like it.

This is a sad post :, (

I am sad. So I shall do what any fuckwit would do. Post a blog about it. So there. God i'm so lonely.

These days.

So Its been awhile since my last post. I feel like talking about something. But not TO someone. Thats what blogs are for. It makes you feel as if people actually give a shit about what you're gonna post. But they don't, so you get the security of people not actually reading your innermost and embarrassing thoughts.

So i bought Mass Effect 2 last week. And I finished Mass Effect 2 LAST WEEK.

Now why do people who watch anime/read manga and whatnot find characters that "tsundere" or "Indifferent" appealing? It completely baffles the mind don't it? Or even romancing of childhood friends or the brother-sister scenario. Not forgetting the millions of improbable events. Y'know what im talking about. The confession-then-run-then-hoshitconfessionattheendoftheseason, or the i'm gonna trip or something but i'll fall onto you and we stare into each others eys blushing for a good 5 minutes.

Maybe because these things, are so predictable? Or because they're not real? Alot of things in life are shades of grey. Never always 'just like that'.
How i see people, or people who watch anime, Tsundere characters appeal because they are maybe pushy, angry, and always picks on
But you always know 'nah she loves him, she just doing that to hide it' And that is appealing. Maybe that would be too in real life, but there is no knowledge of 'hey she likes me, thats why she doing this'

Oh hey, stonecold characters i.e Nagato. Though she has the apparent warmth of a rock, she has a solid fanbase. Which kinda baffles me that if you have someone like that in real life, they'd probably won't have many friends.

What do I hear? Fangirls screaming for a pouting cold-staring main character. hey could wassup? And you Tsuna. OH no I didn't forget you guy-from-vampire-knight-who-is-not-edward. What is it that girls find them so appealing when they have 2 modes. emo-emotionless. And no tsuna in his cliche 'loser' self does not count.

I'll stop here. I stop this silly rant.

Also for those of you who like to chew...

Maybe you should chew...

ON MY FIST!

Dreams

Lately I've been having alot of dreams. Mostly good. All weird. Cause thats how I roll.

But heres one I had just this morning. Its awkwardly sentimental. But I'm just posting it here so I don't forget.








































































































































































So as far back as I can remember in the dream, it was a hogwarts-esque house. As in' if you had hogwarts resemble my house. For some reason I wasn't flinging fireballs everywhere. cause If I could use magic i would. Anywho, there were these 2 dudes practicing necromancy. cause you know in alot of magic related worls necromancy is baaaaaaaaaaaaad. So like i reported this to the head mage, or first enchanter or dumbledore, whichever will help you understand this mans position.

And he was all like 'Oh, this is troublesome'. Then he sent me to wait in a room. Which strangely resembled my living room. After a short moment I tried walking out. But when I opened the door I was greeted by a big mean green dude guarding the door. He looked none too pleased to see me try to leave, so I slowly closed the door. So there I sat and waited. Then a young woman came in. Holding a doll. She greeted me. We made idle chatter but I somehow felt she, a puppeteer, would turn me into her puppet. Not too pleasing a thought.


































Then another person came in. A puppet in the shape of a attractive young girl. Whos eyes were obscured but know they had a calm in them. A assuring and somewhat devious smile. Next to me she sat. A little pleasantries, small talk. A giggle or two there. Then it became apparent i enjoyed her company. We spent a long time together at this moment. Then before i realised. My dream self fell in love with this girl in a dream. He skin felt soft like flesh but it was cold as stone. (Given we can't really feel heat in dreams but you know what i mean) But my heart felt warm. I could feel her affection. I felt safe, then in the dream I felt asleep. And I woke. And my heart, still felt warm and fulfilled.

Which makes an interesting thought. Could something unreal in both sense that she was a marionette and merely a dream, fulfill the heart? The yearning for some would call it 'love'?
It would be no, not permanently. Merely a fleeting feeling. But a good one nonetheless.
But it kinda answers my question, 'What is love?'. It is that feeling of the heart you get when you're with someone. a sense a safety, affection and fulfillment.

So I shall always remember this girl who I fell in love with. A girl who exist only in the dream and within that dream was no a real person herself, a dream puppet, but one who hastaught me a lesson that is so very real.

A girl named Matsuri.

New Years Eve and CF day-2.

So its New Years Eve, so this may be a super long post.

Comic Fiesta Day 2

So, I arrive one the second day about the same time as Day 1. Again since It was still much too early for the Hall to be Open I waited patiently outside. The time came close, but before entering I registered myself for the Solo Cosplay Competition. Cause you know, there'd be nothing else to do. I was the 3rd guy to register behind a Akatsuki member from 'NAW-ROU-TOE'(Naruto) whos name I don't recall and the super hot Xaj as some dude from Ouran Host Club.

Then they gave me a tag. Which allowed me FREE entrance into the hall. And I was like 'wut'. I could've saved 10 dollars. So after I flashed my fancy new tag to the doormens and doorwomens and laughed at their powerlessness, again I was greeted by the red carpet. Again, some booths were still setting up and again the Emcees were summoning the CFers in. And so they came. They again gave out prizes for simple task such as not killing them where they stand, and I got a doodleart book from the people of Animasia. There was still some time before the contestants started to gather so I went to the GAMEAXIS booth. I was disappointed there didn't have Guitar Hero 5. So Rock band would have to do. So I started playing the guitar on hard. And a crowd started to gather. Cause Alex Mercer rocking is made of 3 kinds of awesome.

I further frolicked within the hall until it was time to gather in front of the ticket counter for registration. So further I wait. Then I say kathleen. She had a nice wig. Miku wig. I wish i had a miku wig. And feli fixing kaths miku wig. She had a luka wig. I wish I had a luka wig. Anyway, my manservent, Mun Yee fetched me coke. Cause coke fuels me. And then she bombarded me with praises as to not anger me. I, being the most merciful of humans, spared her.

So they led us in a line to the side of the stage. On the way, I saw |\/|@S+3R CH33F. And I was like "HAY MASTUR CHEEF". Anyway, so they first introduced each of the contestants on stage and had us all ponied in a line. So we each did out 1 minute skit to 'woo' the audience enough to become a finalist. 1st up was Xaj, he did a sexy strip tease and spread love to the judges. Like always. He loves to love. Too much love. And you know what they say about too much love?


Next up is the Akatsuki member with his fancy swordplay. And then it was my turn. And I thought to myself, 'what would Alex Mercer do?' and the answer was a deep and complicated one. I had to look deep within myself, it took while for me to digest it. He would kill everyone in the hall. So I did just that. Or not. I leap-frogged of the stage and started humping the blade in the direction of the audience-judges who looked non too please-cameramen-audience. Then I got back onto the stage and 'slit' the throat of the co-MC. The other MC tried to run. BUT HE FAILED AS I SMITED HIM TO THE GROUND.


And the crowd cheered. The feeling of awesomeness was quite awesome. I didn't pay much attention to the later contestants. Except Kirin Jun. She is good hunter. And Garland. Cause I like the character. Other not so much. I still had some fatigue from the previous day so I spent more of my time resting when I could. Then Kit Fai came along and was like 'Dawg you hair so long, how do you see. Ok, I go get lunch first.' So back onto the hall floor I go. You know, It occured to me that Fel,Kat,tian and ling were almost never in the hall. Cause you know obviously they have an awesome GROUP photoshoot. While I'm a solo player. Or maybe it has something to do with photographers(you know who you are) taking pictures ONLY of attractive young females. But y'know none of my business. Clearly using some pictures as a wallpaper is fine too. Not creepy at all.

*Ahem* Anyway. They will only announce the finalist at 4 which is not so long away. And 4 came. So they summoned us back on stage. And announce the 8 finalist. The first was of course, Xaj with all his Charm and Sex Appeal. A real Manwich. And the second finalist was me, Alex Mercer. It was a small shock. The others I can't recall so clearly. I know there was Kirinjun, Hunter and Garland. Now the 8 finalist are to pick their prop and theme for the final round. I got hopping and wig. I was not too pleased. So I set out on my quest to find a wig. Now my first thought on getting a wig was of course friends. But they either 1) don't have a wig or 2) Never answer your damned phones. So I requested and/or threatened a boothdude to borrow me his. I had a wig and story Idea. Watch the results.


It seemed like a good story at the time. Also I was dehydrated.
Also to the person who lent me his wig, once again thanks!
Heres his blog : rednekohat.blogspot.com

The time between the final round and the price giving ceremony was abit of a blur.
Jumping straight to the ceremony. The only awards I noted were

Garbranth, best-in-hall. Which was well deserved cause that armor was wicked.

Dante and Trish, winner of the OTP competition with their Devil May Cry the Musical.

Taikoubou from no idea what series, Honorable Mention.

Then my name was called for the second Honorable Mention. Which is quite a surprise, I didn't think the crowd or judges would take a liking to Alex Mercer. Mostly because IMO I think the CF population is more biased towards Asian or specifically Anime cosplayers. FEMALE cosplayers. Oh yes I said it. Only because its true. So i got a trophy and prize, a KAGAMIKU.
The best cosplayer;

Kirin from Monster Hunter. Cause monster hunter cosplay is awesome.

Right after that there was a celebration, but I left instead of joining in the festivities.

Anyway its 3 hours and 50 minutes to 2010. And I feel a moment of doubt for the coming year. But thats just fear of the future and the changes it might bring.

SO


2009 in Review

January
I enrolled in The ONE Academy. I met new people. Changed myself. Met a green faggot, though I didn't realised he was one at first.

February
Life went on as usual, from what I can recall.

March
Started to realise that the green one is indeed a faggot playing at cool. This march the beginning of the revelation.
Dad passed away March 6th 2009 8:14pm. Sad tears are sad. Comforting friends have my further gratitude.

April
Some stuff happened. Started to who more hostility towars the green one.

Actually Imma skip to the months I can remember

December 2008

You know when you just had to do something. And you do it now, because if you don't, It could possibly destroy you. 'There are no tears...' I said. But when you find yourself finally alone, the facade you put up, they break down.

December 2009

Some things change. Others don't. This specific feeling would not, will not change. It makes me glad, because its genuine. But also makes me feel terrible, because its genuine.
Some people wish they could turn back time and undo the mistakes they make. Even If I could I never would want to change the past. Thats just what it is. The past. And y'know you can't live in the past. I sometimes cringe when I entertain the thought of 'what if?'

31st December 2009

And here we stand at the doorway to 2010. I fear what the future brings.

Post-CF Day One Pre-New years and full of pancakes.

Because pancakes are awesome.
Comic Fiesta 2009 just took place a week ago. But I'm gonna talk about it anyway, cause thats how I roll. So I took off from home at 9am already in full 'costume' if you could call it that. The event was still a few hours away so i went to get some breakfast at Ming Tien. But shih shin lied and she didn't eat breakfast with me :< style="text-align: left;">But I dexterously avoided any messes to myself. Also I had coke. So after I ate, I set off to the Sunway Convention Centre. This would be the 4th time i've seen the inside of Sunway Pyramid before it actually opened. And there I waited, standing oh so menacingly beside the armblade. Until Chris came and gave me my ticket. Then I waited again, cause the hall still wasn't open. Then I saw kathleen and friends. And i was all

Cause she either didn't see me or didn't recognise me. So I was all like ninja. Then I came up next to her in the ticket line and I was all. "Ha you don't has ticket"
And she was all. So after that i went into the hall. A committee member questioned me about my armblade. The materials are safe but in my mind I karate'd her face to let me in. So the first thing i noticed when I entered was, "hey, nice red carpet" and then it was the rows of chairs at the stage area, which were alot more than the previous year. The setup was pretty sweet, except for the gallery and spawn, because they caused major traffic problems. So the booths were still in the midst of setting up. As I was passing by the Dj console, the emcees were like "holy crap, its Alex Mercer" and i gave them a grin. Or was it a pout. I'm not sure at this point. So people start pouring into the hall as the opening ceremony was about to begin and I sat in the front row. Because my armblade would inconvenience me if I sat anywhere at the back. So as I waited while the emcees were summoning people inside, they started beat boxing and it was pretty cool.

Then they were speech by some dude from MSC and panel of VIPs to officiate Comic Fiesta 2009.

So I set forth and looked at the booths. Which i quickly glanced because I could single-handedly stop traffic. So I never got a good look at anything.
Take pictures with people, bla bla bla. Then the emcees started to give out prizes for mini-games.

*Om nom nom* 'At this point at present time I am writing this post I'm eating dinner' *Om nom nom*

So they invited a special celebrity guest "Alex Mercer"
I made my semi-dramatic entrance walking down the red carpet and onto the stage.
So they called for 3 people for the 'game'. And the game would be who could be killed in the most horrible manner by me. The first 2 guys were fine and all. But the 3rd dude introduced himself as double A. I thought immediately that this guy was a fag. So he got the most brutal beating out of the three, so he won. He won the Award of Faggotry in my mind's eye. Anywho i got GUNDAM action figure for my efforts. More pictures~ At this point in time I was becoming weary. Walking around non-stop with an armblade was pretty tiring. But whenever I sat down I became restless and got back up.

Also i meet up with Uncle gay and of course god and that other dude. They were not very helpful in my obtaining of sustenance. Anywho, then it was the Group competition and OTP. I only really paid attention to Vampire Twiknight, it was hilarious. So only after that did I finally saw Miss.Kakachang, who is of course in group cosplay. And she didn't recognize me because my long hair makes me all NINJA. Also with her was Xaj and Kar. Which are not really their names but imma keep it private, to an extent. Also i met miss. Angeline for the first time and I was all. Ok not really. Sandra didn't really help as an intro either. Anyway I can't recall anything else important. Summary of the first day. Here a picture of Alex Mercer. I likes it. But it is one of my favourites. But I really wanted to take pictures with certain cosplayers but was either too shy and they were too busy with their own photoshoot :<

So this week.

Alot of stuff happened. I woke up, did stuff and went to sleep. It was amazing.


But seriously, so a week back I finally bought Dragon Age : Origins. Its a good game. So good I stayed up playing it till 3am for the first few days. But thats not important.

So my 1st year in TOA comes to an end, last monday, it being the last day to pass up the last assignment. I'm not sure what we did later that day. Oh yeah. we watched Inglorious Bastards.
Best. WW2. Fictional. movie. ever.
































So tuesday was pretty much boring an ineventful. No idea how I even got through the day. And i don't really wanna talk about the next day. Was almost equally uneventful.

Now that I think about it other than the past 36 hours, things have been dull. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.