New post soon.

As soon as I feel like it.

This is a sad post :, (

I am sad. So I shall do what any fuckwit would do. Post a blog about it. So there. God i'm so lonely.

These days.

So Its been awhile since my last post. I feel like talking about something. But not TO someone. Thats what blogs are for. It makes you feel as if people actually give a shit about what you're gonna post. But they don't, so you get the security of people not actually reading your innermost and embarrassing thoughts.

So i bought Mass Effect 2 last week. And I finished Mass Effect 2 LAST WEEK.

Now why do people who watch anime/read manga and whatnot find characters that "tsundere" or "Indifferent" appealing? It completely baffles the mind don't it? Or even romancing of childhood friends or the brother-sister scenario. Not forgetting the millions of improbable events. Y'know what im talking about. The confession-then-run-then-hoshitconfessionattheendoftheseason, or the i'm gonna trip or something but i'll fall onto you and we stare into each others eys blushing for a good 5 minutes.

Maybe because these things, are so predictable? Or because they're not real? Alot of things in life are shades of grey. Never always 'just like that'.
How i see people, or people who watch anime, Tsundere characters appeal because they are maybe pushy, angry, and always picks on
But you always know 'nah she loves him, she just doing that to hide it' And that is appealing. Maybe that would be too in real life, but there is no knowledge of 'hey she likes me, thats why she doing this'

Oh hey, stonecold characters i.e Nagato. Though she has the apparent warmth of a rock, she has a solid fanbase. Which kinda baffles me that if you have someone like that in real life, they'd probably won't have many friends.

What do I hear? Fangirls screaming for a pouting cold-staring main character. hey could wassup? And you Tsuna. OH no I didn't forget you guy-from-vampire-knight-who-is-not-edward. What is it that girls find them so appealing when they have 2 modes. emo-emotionless. And no tsuna in his cliche 'loser' self does not count.

I'll stop here. I stop this silly rant.

Also for those of you who like to chew...

Maybe you should chew...

ON MY FIST!

Dreams

Lately I've been having alot of dreams. Mostly good. All weird. Cause thats how I roll.

But heres one I had just this morning. Its awkwardly sentimental. But I'm just posting it here so I don't forget.








































































































































































So as far back as I can remember in the dream, it was a hogwarts-esque house. As in' if you had hogwarts resemble my house. For some reason I wasn't flinging fireballs everywhere. cause If I could use magic i would. Anywho, there were these 2 dudes practicing necromancy. cause you know in alot of magic related worls necromancy is baaaaaaaaaaaaad. So like i reported this to the head mage, or first enchanter or dumbledore, whichever will help you understand this mans position.

And he was all like 'Oh, this is troublesome'. Then he sent me to wait in a room. Which strangely resembled my living room. After a short moment I tried walking out. But when I opened the door I was greeted by a big mean green dude guarding the door. He looked none too pleased to see me try to leave, so I slowly closed the door. So there I sat and waited. Then a young woman came in. Holding a doll. She greeted me. We made idle chatter but I somehow felt she, a puppeteer, would turn me into her puppet. Not too pleasing a thought.


































Then another person came in. A puppet in the shape of a attractive young girl. Whos eyes were obscured but know they had a calm in them. A assuring and somewhat devious smile. Next to me she sat. A little pleasantries, small talk. A giggle or two there. Then it became apparent i enjoyed her company. We spent a long time together at this moment. Then before i realised. My dream self fell in love with this girl in a dream. He skin felt soft like flesh but it was cold as stone. (Given we can't really feel heat in dreams but you know what i mean) But my heart felt warm. I could feel her affection. I felt safe, then in the dream I felt asleep. And I woke. And my heart, still felt warm and fulfilled.

Which makes an interesting thought. Could something unreal in both sense that she was a marionette and merely a dream, fulfill the heart? The yearning for some would call it 'love'?
It would be no, not permanently. Merely a fleeting feeling. But a good one nonetheless.
But it kinda answers my question, 'What is love?'. It is that feeling of the heart you get when you're with someone. a sense a safety, affection and fulfillment.

So I shall always remember this girl who I fell in love with. A girl who exist only in the dream and within that dream was no a real person herself, a dream puppet, but one who hastaught me a lesson that is so very real.

A girl named Matsuri.